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The effect of Birth Trauma
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The past 3 years have been challenging that’s for sure, not just for me but for many, especially those who suffer mental health issues & neurodiversity, abhorring change.
During 2019 I had health setbacks, collapsing a few times and a pacemaker was considered but in August of that year I collapsed again and within a week had open heart surgery with a triple bypass, followed by another heart operation 2 weeks later.
All WITHOUT having a Heart attack. Phew. Then a further 3 months on a catheter. If you know, you know what that’s like.
I don’t say this for sympathy but to explain my ‘Birth Script’ – the conception, womb space and actual birth experience that becomes a blueprint for future living, feeling and survival. My Mum was 19, Dad 26 when I was born prematurely in May 1947 – 5 weeks early. Mum had a tummy ache at 7am and 10 mins later I shot out into my fathers arms, who delivered me on the kitchen table at 3 lbs 4 oz with the cord round my neck.
A 10 min labour in later life proved a double edged sword – leaving me with birth trauma, PTSD, and addictions – meaning it was natural for me to be fast thinking ( get out or I will die ) no desire for a journey to do detail – needed speed – just get me to the hit in one swipe from A to Z.
Leaving me there he ran to the maternity hospital, ( luckily in our road ) leaving me on the table with cord unfurled & uncut, but a 5 min run, and he returned in an ambulance that put me in an incubator for 6 weeks with no human hands touching me, including my parents for less risk of infections.
It was a fight for life and survival via machine. But I passed the test.
At 6 months old my uncle found me in the cot going blue and not breathing. We had no phones, so he grabbed me and ran with me in his arms to the same maternity hospital who placed me in another incubator with meningitis on the spine, for another 6 weeks trying to beat death. Once again on my own fighting for life. Then up to the age of 14 I attended Great Ormond Street Hospital for suspected brain damage with regular tests.
I stammered speech daily, especially in anxiety, and squinted with stress all through my childhood and teenage years until I found alcohol at 17 and it ended. The rest is history.
Your birth script acts as a montitor for survival, and patterns develop from it in later life. In 1981 I was diagnosed with Chronic Active Hep B Virus and Cirrhosis and six months to live, the following year I was one of 10 people on a Human Interferon drug trial, everyone died on the trial except me, so was heavily monitored by the research department of the Royal Free Hospital for a further 15 years.
In October 1982 I accepted I was an alcoholic and drug addict, workaholic and financially bankrupt. But I survived even that and now over 40 years clean & sober. #JFT
In 1989 – 92 I assisted Sondra Ray, a co-founder of Rebirthing with The Loving Relationship Training in London & Madrid who told me that I had survived death so many times, WHY DO I NEED TO CREATE more death like, living on the edge situations? . . in order to SURVIVE. There lies the rub. I had beaten death.
Funny how I got Hepatitis B every 6 weeks ( then 6 weeks without ) for 12 years, before I broke the pattern. In 1988 my first Rebirthing Practitioner Hilary Totah, explained that the 6 week Hep was a duplication of 6 weeks in an incubator! WHAT A REVELATION. It took another 6 years to release it – but I did, changing my DNA. In 1996 I lost the Chronic Active Auto Immune Hep B virus with just Breathwork, healing myself without medications and I have been well ever since. DM me or ask me HOW. The solution came from BIRTH.
So overcoming heart operations, getting Covid in March 2020 and living with Long Covid for 2 years 9 months up to November 2022, tells you ( and me ) that the pattern of overcoming death is still there. RIGHT FROM BIRTH ❤️ but now I’m rather amused by it – even having used up my 9 lives. 🤣
Not my age. The days I have been without Long Covid.
It’s been a bit quiet on here what with pandemic, hence all groupwork and 121 breathwork sessions needed to be halted.
But the real reason for delay is that in March 2020 I contracted covid in first UK wave, and 7 months after I had had open heart surgery, a triple bypass, so my immune system was struggling, but luckily I didn’t have a heart attack.
In this, the first week of 2023, my overseas readers may not be aware that Brexit Britain is in severe trouble with a shortage of ambulances. This is not the first time there was no ambulances available in Central London. In March 2020 the new Covid virus took them all.
I was put on drip, had bloods taken twice with a 4 hour interval and was able to be discharged at 1 am with suspected Covid but no need for a ventilator. There was no covid test at that time, they only went by symptoms for hospitalisation. Feeling much better after the drip I walked home.
But the next day Covid hit me bad and I didn’t eat for 6 days. It felt close to death and I surpassed it. I had no idea what was to follow . . .
2 years 9 months of Long Covid.