Virus Living

The effect of Birth Trauma

by Rebirth Your Life

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The past 3 years have been challenging that’s for sure, not just for me but for many, especially those who suffer mental health issues & neurodiversity, abhorring change.

During 2019 I had health setbacks, collapsing a few times and a pacemaker was considered but in August of that year I collapsed again and within a week had open heart surgery with a triple bypass, followed by another heart operation 2 weeks later.

All WITHOUT having a Heart attack. Phew. Then a further 3 months on a catheter. If you know, you know what that’s like. 

I don’t say this for sympathy but to explain my ‘Birth Script’ – the conception, womb space and actual birth experience that becomes a blueprint for future living, feeling and survival. My Mum was 19, Dad 26 when I was born prematurely in May 1947 – 5 weeks early. Mum had a tummy ache at 7am and 10 mins later I shot out into my fathers arms, who delivered me on the kitchen table at 3 lbs 4 oz with the cord round my neck.  

A 10 min labour in later life proved a double edged sword – leaving me with birth trauma, PTSD, and addictions – meaning it was natural for me to be fast thinking ( get out or I will die ) no desire for a journey to do detail – needed speed – just get me to the hit in one swipe from A to Z.

Leaving me there he ran to the maternity hospital, ( luckily in our road ) leaving me on the table with cord unfurled & uncut, but a 5 min run, and he returned in an ambulance that put me in an incubator for 6 weeks with no human hands touching me, including my parents for less risk of infections.

It was a fight for life and survival via machine. But I passed the test. 

At 6 months old my uncle found me in the cot going blue and not breathing. We had no phones, so he grabbed me and ran with me in his arms to the same maternity hospital who placed me in another incubator with meningitis on the spine, for another 6 weeks trying to beat death. Once again on my own fighting for life. Then up to the age of 14 I attended Great Ormond Street Hospital for suspected brain damage with regular tests.

I stammered speech daily, especially in anxiety, and squinted with stress all through my childhood and teenage years until I found alcohol at 17 and it ended. The rest is history.

Your birth script acts as a montitor for survival, and patterns develop from it in later life. In 1981 I was diagnosed with Chronic Active Hep B Virus and Cirrhosis and six months to live, the following year I was one of 10 people on a Human Interferon drug trial, everyone died on the trial except me, so was heavily monitored by the research department of the Royal Free Hospital for a further 15 years.

In October 1982 I accepted I was an alcoholic and drug addict, workaholic and financially bankrupt. But I survived even that and now over 40 years clean & sober. #JFT

In 1989 – 92 I assisted Sondra Ray, a co-founder of Rebirthing with The Loving Relationship Training in London & Madrid who told me that I had survived death so many times, WHY DO I NEED TO CREATE more death like, living on the edge situations? . . in order to SURVIVE. There lies the rub. I had beaten death.

Funny how I got Hepatitis B every 6 weeks ( then 6 weeks without ) for 12 years, before I broke the pattern. In 1988 my first Rebirthing Practitioner Hilary Totah, explained that the 6 week Hep was a duplication of 6 weeks in an incubator! WHAT A REVELATION. It took another 6 years to release it – but I did, changing my DNA. In 1996 I lost the Chronic Active Auto Immune Hep B virus with just Breathwork, healing myself  without medications and I have been well ever since. DM me or ask me HOW. The solution came from BIRTH.

So overcoming heart operations, getting Covid in March 2020 and living with Long Covid for 2 years 9 months up to November 2022, tells you ( and me ) that the pattern of overcoming death is still there. RIGHT FROM BIRTH ❤️ but now I’m rather amused by it – even having used up my 9 lives. 🤣

Open Your Eyes To Happiness

by Rebirth Your Life

Like poverty happiness is relative, so create your own scale. I used to think that ” loving too much ” was intimacy & true happiness until I found drugs further up the ladder. Now drug free for a few decades and then some, HAPPINESS is whatever I choose it to be, like the freedom to make mistakes without beating myself up afterwards, freedom to make clearer choices and waking up on clean sheets without a hangover or comedown makes me very happy, I can tell you. Small things count.

They say that RESENTMENT kills the container it’s kept in, and my fuselage was well corroded when I was in a coma of drug use all those years ago – counting up all the things I did for people and the people that gave nothing back.

Maybe you think this :  I will be happy WHEN I get a new job, flatmate, partner and lose weight.

A Course In Miracles states that ” everything is temporary “, and once you get that notion and accept that happiness can’t be captured, freedom arrives quickly, as freedom is intrinsically linked to happiness. Freedom to be who you are, to be authentic without editing, to be open about lifestyle and character defects.

Losing past and present resentments is a key to Happiness. What works to anyone’s advantage is to write down 5 resentments about past or present, and be prepared to drop the hurts that burn inside. The Great Escape of drink and drugs are great tools to employ relaxation, release and realizations, long may that continue, but not so hot when the returning resentments capture your happiness and take you back to prison camp. I heard someone say that they drank to drown their sorrows then their sorrows learn’t to swim. Well, it was true for me.

Ironically, one of the happiest periods for me was 1994-96 just before the arrival of combination therapy for those HIV Positive. I worked soley with people living and dying from AIDS, as it was then, all with CD4 counts below 10. A healthy person has over a thousand. I took one guy to Turkey with a CD4 of 2, he was determined to have a holiday before he died. He was so happy to have made it ( and he lasted another 3 years with combination therapy ). Another wanted to be wheeled in a wheelchair to see David Hockney’s Mr & Mrs Ossie Clark & Percy at the Tate Gallery for the last time, while another decided to die on crisp white French linen so off we went to Peter Jones with cash in hand. Humour in times of darkness is an essential breeder of joy. With these guys I assisted them to complete their life, releasing resentments before they passed into light but anyone can lift the luggage they hold without the threat of death, though I do accept that fear is a great motivator. Try being motivated by joy instead.

For me happiness is a pile of freshly ironed and folded shirts. I get great satisfaction from that. Babaji said Karma Yoga (work) breeds happiness. Happiness is knowing that you have cleared the wreckage of the past. Happiness is turning the phone off. Happiness is being silent in a persons arms. Write your own list each day as an antidote to losing the plot and start running your life with a new set of rules to fuel happy thinking. You can get this through therapy, coaching or flicking through inspirational or self -help books. But deciding not to bother with the exercises mentioned is likely to end in a half-measured result.

In Rehabs like the Priory for a 6 week stay, people often do 16 hours a day of individual writing, group sessions, individual counseling and emotional management including the suggestion to LET GO OF CONTROL. Just think about how your sense of happiness is determined by the behavior of other people. Learning to detach from fixing others, pleasing others and then fixing and pleasing yourself is perhaps the ultimate shift in contentment and codependency recovery.

David Weeks scientific study, the first on the subject of Eccentrics, found them to be the happiest people and they live longer purely because they gave up taking notice of what people thought of them. Happy people are happy from within – not unhappy to be without the latest label. So remember that you don’t have to have a fit body to workout from the INSIDE, and once you start to focus on solutions you will realize that a perfect waist is not the key to a perfect life. Happiness is there for the taking if you open your eyes to seek it.

Inner Body Awareness

by Rebirth Your Life
” Another simple but highly effective way of finding space in your life
is closely linked to the breath.

You will find that by feeling the subtle flow of air in and out of the body as well as the rise and fall of your chest and abdomen, you are also becoming aware of the inner body.
Your attention may then shift from the breath to that felt aliveness within you, diffused throughout the body.

Most people are so distracted by their thoughts, so identified with the voices in their heads, they can no longer feel the aliveness within them.

To be unable to feel the life that animates the physical body, the very life that you are, is the greatest deprivation that can happen to you.
You then begin to look not only for substitutes for that natural state of well-being within, but also for something to cover up the continuous unease that you feel when you are not in touch with the aliveness that is always there but usually overlooked.


Some of the substitutes people seek out are drug-induced highs, sensory over-stimulation such as excessively loud music, thrills or dangerous activities, or an obsession with sex.
Even drama in relationships is used as a substitute for that genuine sense of aliveness. The most sought after cover-up for the continuous background unease are intimate relationships : a man or a woman who is going to ” make me happy “. It is, of course, also one of the most frequently experienced of all ” letdowns ” . . . and when the unease surfaces again, people will usually blame their partner for it. ” – Eckhart Tolle

When I first came to Breathwork books and groups in the late Eighties, I kept hearing this word that meant nothing to me : Aliveness. The word provoked very little excitement.
For most of my life I lived on the percentage that kept me alive and in survival, I had no idea that life was never meant to be a struggle. I had no idea that I had no inner body awareness except via pain. When I was in physical or emotional discomfort my body responded just to remind me it was still there, but ALIVENESS? – no way, Jose.

Rebirthing Breathwork has been described as a spiritual hoover, cleaning the past, vibrating the soul and attuning feelings and emotions for release, past and present. It offers a facility to experience inner peace that matches floating freely in the womb, a return to a memory of protective order, change and that first breath – ALIVENESS! The first experience of CHANGE. The process is so powerful that I challenged and changed incurable Chronic Active Hepatitis B Virus in my body to cured – simply by breathing it out. On my 5th session of breathwork I had a burning sensation around my waist in the liver area that would not erase and since I was on the original human Interferon drug trial in 1982 to find a cure for chronic active Hep B (which leads to cirrhosis and liver failure), I was carefully monitored by the research unit of The Royal Free Hospital Hampstead in London and allowed to appear at the Hospital Research Unit at any time, without appointment, if anything unusual occurred. They took bloods and rang me at home that evening – ” what have you been doing? – your liver function test has come up NORMAL! “.
The next day I scurried back to Hampstead in a room of a dozen doctors staring at me as I explained Rebirthing Breathwork. You have done what a 5 Million £ project has failed to do. This was a referral to that original 1982 trial – I was one of the 10 people on human Interferon. 9 died within a year – I was the only one that survived, even though the drug did not work for any of us.

I did not need ALIVENESS explaining to me any longer – I had experienced it, and had been reminded that my quest to leave my body had ended, via a journey of near death at birth, meningitis on the spine at 6 months and alcoholism, drug addiction, chronic active Hep B Virus and Cirrhosis of the Liver as an adult. If you come to one of my Seminars you will hear this story in full and how after 8 years of breathwork I created anti-bodies in my body to sero convert to full health – I will tell you how I did it.