Recovery Coaching for People Who Do Too Much

We all know them.

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Workaholics. Alcohol Dependents. Coke fiends. Chem users. Painkillers. Exercise Addicts. Codependents. People Pleasers. Compulsive Helpers. Gamblers. Debtors Etc.

Maybe you are one of them, getting nowhere fast, riding through treacle in avoidance of the core issue.

Living Life In Balance is an acquired art, requiring practice, discipline and observation – difficult to do alone – which is why working with an experienced Recovery Coach & Evolutionary Breathworker WORKS.

I have been clean & sober since 1982 with 12 Step Programmes and a Somatic Breathworker since 1988, so I know that it’s possible to RE-BALANCE YOUR LIFE, take hold, redress with ‘purposeful using’ if dependent or abstention if needed. Step work has been my solution plus outside help, but sessions are not guided by it or required to use in or out of session, nor is there requirement to develop the spiritual side. The client leads the session in their requirements.

SOLUTIONS : First focus on present current issues and what ACTION needs to take place.

Second, deal with emotional suppression, overwhelm and helplessness which can lead to or enhance depression and more walking into escape routes that damage, continue and bring you back to a spiral of much of the same. I have been there, so no judgement involved, just practical solutions for change.

_DSF6211-Edit-Edit-EditAnother SOLUTION is calling me. David Parker on 07483 287470

Leave a voicemail if I don’t pick up, or email me with what your problem is. rebirthyourlife@gmail.com 

I see anyone FREE for 2 hours with no obligation to carry anything further with me or can direct you to other avenues of solution. Someone did this for me 36 years ago – I’m just giving it back. Euston venue.

or buy the book above. It’s a start.

New Ideas, London Autumn Breathwork Groups + 121.

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Notes from David . . .

After a rethink, during my well-needed Summer Break, we will no longer be doing regular Evening Breathes as before but start to create POP UP BREATHES with new times and formats.

One on a different week night per month and one on a SATURDAY afternoon per month. Both groups will be for 5 participants max and achieve different aims.

Autumn is already getting jammed, I will be in Athens in October & Marrakech in November on rest breaks.

#selfCARE

Many new exciting avenues of Breathwork coming up, including Equine Facilitated Psychotherapy Combination work . . .

. . plus UK travel plans in 2019 will be prolifically irregular and busy.

#BREATHE

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GROUPWORK FOR REGULAR BREATHERS:

The MONTHLY EVENING BREATHE is from 7.00 – 9.00 pm, giving time to get home in dark winter weather. This 2 hour group is for those who have experienced OVER 5 BREATHWORK GROUP BREATHES and will include no discussion period before Breathing. 

Perfect for those who need a TOP-UP BREATHE once a month. After introductions the 1 hour Breathwork session will start dead on 7.30 pm and finish one hour later, leaving 30 mins to share, eat fruit and leave for home.

Fee £25.  5 participants max.

Wednesday OCTOBER 3rd 7 -9pm

& Tuesday October 30th: 7pm – 9pm

Payment can be made on the day if a returning client, but will be due in advance if first time with us. As this is a very small group, for any reason should you be unable to attend and we are unable to fill your place with another participant, then payment will still be required. 

Payment can be made by Cash on the day, PAYPAL with Debit or Credit Cards or ask for Bank Transfer details.

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NEW BREATHERS & REGULAR BREATHERS:

Each Saturday Group 12 noon – 4pm gives those who travel from afar a chance to attend. This group WILL involve a Group Discussion before a GROUP BREATH plus written work. Perfect for those new and interested or curious about benefits of Breathwork, Relationship and Codependency Recovery.  

Fee £50. 5 participants max.

Saturday 20th OCTOBER 12pm – 4pm

 & Saturday 17th NOVEMBER 12pm – 4pm

Both groups will be in Euston / Mornington Crescent venue

Payment can be made on the day if a returning client, but will be due in advance if first time with us. As this is a very small group, for any reason should you be unable to attend and we are unable to fill your place with another participant, then payment will still be required. 

Payment can be made by Cash on the day, PAYPAL with Debit or Credit Cards or ask for Bank Transfer details.

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Or experience Private 121 Coaching Sessions with or without Breathwork :

2 hours – Fortnightly or Monthly – £120 / 3 hours £150  Fortnightly or Monthly. Afternoons, Evenings or Weekends.

Financial unreliability can be discussed if funds are stopping you from Personal Growth work – Just ask – and a budget package can be created.

Payment can be made on the day if a returning client, but will be due in advance if first time with us. As this is a very small group, for any reason should you be unable to attend and we are unable to fill your place with another participant, then payment will still be required. 

Payment can be made by Cash on the day, PAYPAL with Debit or Credit Cards or ask for Bank Transfer details.

Please get in touch at urbanlifeclass@gmail.com or call 020 7388 3109 to reserve your place on any of our workshops.

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Sunday October 1st. One Day Breathwork Seminar – London (Belgravia/Victoria) 11am-7pm . . Prosper. Manage. Grow.

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Your prosperity consciousness is not dependent on money; but your flow of money is dependent upon your prosperity consciousness. 

Are you living in the PROBLEM?

scarcity

or the ANSWER!  . . Overcome limiting thoughts and patterns that sabotage your prosperity

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Scarcity Consciousness is an element of Codependency, escalating into lower esteem, unhealthy choices, toxic relationships and NOT GOOD ENOUGH mindsets. 

It’s easy to see codependency only as an issue with personal human relationships, when in fact ALL Relationships are affected by fear based SCARCITY, SURVIVAL &  FEAR . . . Your relationships with money, work, social interaction and expanding friendships are just as affected, so working on LOVING YOURSELF is a major gift.

BREATHWORK offers you the perfect opportunity to resolve these issues.

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Led by Professional Breathworkers David Parker and Luisa Bradshaw.

Check out THE TEAM Page above on our experience

JOIN US at the very sensible time of 11am – 7pm perfect for late risers, out-of-towners and party peeps at our VENUE just a 5 min walk from VICTORIA STATION LONDON. http://www.lightcentrebelgravia.co.uk

WELCOME if you are new to Personal Development, Groupwork or Breathwork. We don’t do special languages, New Age stuff or talking sticks. Other groups do those things so much better than us. We are just a bunch of creative people willing to change habits, addictions and depleting toxic relationships from our lives. If you are new, one of our team can contact you if you wish to answer questions. We don’t sell anything, or sign anyone up, we leave the choice up to you. You don’t need to be Creative, just willing to check out your life and how you can change the impact of all your relationships.

10501688_302332539936610_6051405388470842940_n£70 for the whole day including a GROUP REBIRTH SESSION ( Some concessions are available for £50 if you are already on our list. Delayed/part payment will be individually considered. Paypal to codacoach@yahoo.co.uk BOOKING : Contact Robert Beck urbanlifeclass@gmail.com (+44) 7913862492 for payment options.

Diana Roberts

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Monday April 24 2017

 A true supporter of Urban Lifeclass, my trainer since 1988, my loving friend of 29 years, Diana released herself yesterday after a cancerous battle.

I would not be where I am, who I am, and continue to be a Breathworker since then, if it wasn’t for Diana and for this my heart beams with gratitude. We will all miss her leadership, gentleness, humour, lack of ego, stylish rebellion and service to all who walked her path of generosity. #BREATHE 

Her extraordinary energy is still with us.

Rest in Peace dear heart.

David Parker

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Diana was our  ‘Rebirthing Mother’, supporting us all with caring, compassionate wisdom and mentioned in Nicholas Albery’s book HOW TO FEEL REBORN published in 1985, though she was a pioneer of Rebirthing Breathwork in 1978 way before that time.

Sondra Ray was a founding member of the Rebirthing Process of healing trauma in the 70’s. In the mid 80’s, Diana became Sondra Ray’s Organiser/Producer for over two decades in London with The Loving Relationship Training ( LRT ) and became an LRT Trainer herself, leading Seminars around the globe and creating her own Rebirthing Practitioner Programme in London from then, and into the new century.

We were blessed to have had her extraordinary energy with us, as a leading member of our team here @ Urban Lifeclass since we started. An energetic love irreplaceable.

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Diana at the back, ( left top ) – our shield, our backbone and Birthing Mother et al.

RIP

Om Namaha Shivaya

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Autumn Breathwork Update

words : David Parker

It’s been a full summer : 3 Urban LIFECLASS Evening groups every Month in London, that gets booked up one month in advance, new participants coming in too, plus our Annual Breathwork Retreat in Marrakesh Morocco was full up by July passed for January 2017, all flights booked too. Talk about effortless accomplishment! 

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In June I went to Estonia to lead a 3 Day Breathwork Weekend on Codependency and ‘The Artists Way’ in this fabulous new venue in Tallinn.

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Not sure where it is? . . .you’re not alone. My first visit was in 2004, invited to bring my work to a country with just one and a quarter million people, drowning in a history of soviet control, alcoholism and the highest HIV rates per head of population anywhere on the globe. When it was part of Soviet Russia, authorities dumped their IV drug users there, and AIDS devastated communities and families during the 80’s and 90’s. Almost every family is touched by the stain of alcoholism, authoritarianism and genetic codependency.

mapThis was my 9th Seminar in Estonia since 2004, and that weekends 3 Day Event 10,11, 12th June 2016 was an Intensive called : COME OUT OF THE COMA! . . . Co-dependency and Creative Relationships. Based on the new work we are doing in London with Urban LIFECLASS, ‘Creativity and Creative People’ and they have invited me back next year.

We have also found a new venue in London for Sunday One Day Seminars every 3 months, just 3 mins walk from Angel Station, one tube stop from Kings Cross, and our first tryout is next Sunday but it is now fully booked from our mailing list. Details here : called HOME ALONE.

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Our NEXT ONE DAY SEMINARS are Sunday 12th February and Sunday 21st May 2017 – We also have 3 EVENING BREATHWORK GROUPS a MONTH at a different venue.

Here are NOVEMBER DATES @ EUSTON Venue :november-page-001

REBRAND. Rethink, Review, REBIRTH.

Welcome to the new baby – Urban LIFECLASS Coaching. its been in the womb the past 9 months and now on its feet in London so to celebrate, ‘rebirth your life’ has had a Rebranded NEW LOOK, a rethink, review and a REBIRTH.

10915271_10155142228470437_5736010979869177200_nHard to believe that we have been bang at it for a year, with an idea that sprang out of a LIVE ART DEVELOPMENT AGENCY Weekend Workshop led by Dickie Beau & David Parker at Chelsea Theatre, Kings Road in October 2013. The concept worked so well and the reception encouraging that we had our first 4 hour Sunday Breathwork Workshop at Chelsea Theatre in March 2014, then one in April & May.

The interest increased so we decided to create a One Day Seminar, but Chelsea Theatre though they served us well, closed the centre at 5pm on a Sunday, but as we wanted to start at noon till 8 pm, (handy for late risers, working performers, DJs, party peeps and those travelling from outside London) we needed to look elsewhere. We eventually found a venue close to Victoria Station, the Belgravia Light Centre, specialising in yoga, therapies, mindfulness and groups, happy to let us come in at noon till 8pm. Our first one was July last year.

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This proved to work so well that we continued each month until we were told in January that a long training had booked up Sundays in the upper studio where we were, in 2015 ( we did not have the money to book so far ahead, as they did ). The Centre offered us the lower studio, but the dates available were not consistent with our monthly needs, but did say we could book the upper studio from January 2016, without pre-payment, but we realised that the arduous task fell before us to seek another venue to take a regular monthly booking. As anyone saddled with this task will know – it’s not easy anywhere, let alone Central London and rising room hire rents.

We scoured, searched, viewed venues then lady luck lent a hand.

So after a hugely successful Spiritual Retreat in Marrakech we returned fired up for our last Sunday Breathwork Seminar in February in Victoria and decided to skip March and find a venue for April – and we HAVE, in the perfect PLACE, with supportive creative vibes at THE PLACE in EUSTON.

As their website states : Located in the heart of London, The Place is the UK’s premier centre for contemporary dance. The Place unites dance training, creation and performance in our purpose-built centre, which houses some of the best studios in the city. For over forty five years, we have been a vibrant hub of dance activity, a centre of creative and technical excellence and a magnet for aspiring dancers, talented professionals and cutting-edge choreographers from all over the world. http://www.theplace.org.uk

LOCATION/MAP is here : http://www.theplace.org.uk/findus The Place, 16 Flaxman Terrace, London WC1H 9AT

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This is the entrance to find, not the Front Theatre entrance, for our first Sunday Seminar in The Lecture Room April 12th focussing on DECEPTION, Denial & Double Messages with guidance from The ARTIST’S WAY.

Well served with numerous tube lines, close to Kings Cross & Euston Main Line Stations, even Paris & Belgium, as EUROSTAR is across the road, so even those folks in Ashford Kent can get to us direct in a short time. Registration starts at 12.15 pm ( but many of us meet up before for breakfast somewhere – details coming on that one ). We break for lunch at 3pm for an hour, then continue till 8pm, giving time for peeps to travel afar, take dinner with friends or go home at a reasonable time and relax.

imagesWe are not part of THE PLACE programming or have any attachment to their activities, we are simply hiring The Lecture Room, so please do not contact them. They have given us permission to show you their logo, but it will not appear on any of our promotional material, as their terms and conditions dictate. The room IS smaller than The Light Centre in Victoria ( but just as expensive I might add ) but we will have comfortable chairs to sit on as well as yoga mats.

It’s been a Fabulous 1st year, thanks for your support and attendance on our not-for-profit project, we hope to see you in our new home, our new PLACE Sunday April 12th 

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10374989_411548459015017_2069358222602897210_nDiary Dates : Sunday April 12th – Spirituality, Denial, Deceptions & Double Messages : 12.15 – 8pm

Sunday May 24th – Orchestrating the Energy led by Meleeshka : 12.15 – 8pm

Sunday June 28th –  Hallo, Goodbye, Loss & Happy Endings : 12.15 – 8pm

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£70 for the whole day including a GROUP REBIRTH SESSION ( Some concessions are available for £50 if you are already on the DIY or our concession list ) Delayed/part payment will be individually considered.

10501688_302332539936610_6051405388470842940_nPaypal to codacoach@yahoo.co.uk or Pay-on-the-day by arrangement.

BOOKING : Contact Robert Beck urbanlifeclass@gmail.com (+44) 7913862492 for payment options.

Control Freak!!

In order to explore the breath fully you need to learn to let GO. Christina Thomas in her book SECRETS, published 1989 describes the following conundrum :

” ARE YOU CONTROLLING or IN CONTROL?

This is a very important distinction! Whether you are controlling or in control of your life will make a very major difference in the quality of your health, your business affairs and all your relationships. If you have a thought that you must control your life or anything in it, then you are working very hard. And there is no reason to attempt to control anything! Think about that for a moment. Can you control anything? do you have the power to control that your heart will be beating even two minutes from now? Of course not! But if you have not examined this subject, you may have a thought that you must control things.

As you begin to trust your unconscious self more, you will be able to begin surrendering, willing to do your best and give it to the God energies. It’s okay to be ” in control ” meaning centred, poised, balanced and using your intelligence to achieve optimum results. ” CONTROLLING ” is when you have a thought that you have to do it by yourself or that you have to MAKE something happen or not happen. Control is a form of fear and is the opposite of love. if you have any doubt about this, just look around in your life and locate a person who is very controlling and see if you feel loved thereby. People turn to controlling instead of trusting life; somewhere along the line such people have made a decision that they are unsafe unless they control everything. Although that decision may have been forgotten, it is running the life of that person and demeaning the quality of his or her life experience.

If you honestly investigate this, you will realise that it is not possible to control anything. Just shifting the way you think about this will help you to relax and become more effectively in control.

EVERYTHING IS ALREADY PERFECT . . . . There is a vast and orderly intelligence at work in the Universe; it is functioning perfectly in your life, the chances are that you are controlling something – which is a way to keep the perfection away. You are, then, literally holding the perfection OUT! While it works to have a preference for a certain outcome, being ” attached ” to or insisting on having only a certain outcome is the way to disadvantage yourself.

Allow these concepts enough room to notice how they are working in your life!

The Family Way

Codependency can be about not knowing where you end – and others begin – physically, emotionally, intellectually or spiritually within the family. There are no healthy boundaries.

Maybe you don’t know what you really stand for except your job.  Go to a party or social gathering and people will ask you who you are, what do you say? Are you someones partner, a middle-class professional career, a fraud, a celebrity, a nobody, a carer, a rescuer, a FAKE?

When does your work identity end and the real you emerge?

John Bradshaw writes extensively about Adult Children of Dysfunctional Families and is the name to look for on Amazon. Here is a list of dysfunctional traits that stand to be corrected.

Then you will see why people in therapy say it’s the best investment they have made and why people brought up in a home of emotional supression, family secrets, rows and confrontation refuse to blow the lid off. But then if you don’t, something else will in later life, the memory will return to double you up in pain to stumble.

Abandonment issues * Delusion and Denial * Family Secrets * Isolation even in a crowd * Constant Worry * Control Freakery * 24 hour Guard Duty / Hypervigilant * Internalized Shame * Lack of Boundaries * Grandiose behaviour * Reactive & Reenacting * Numbed Out * Fixated Personality * Out of Touch with body & feelings * Faulty Communication * Withdrawn and under involved * Never Satisfied * Compulsive Addictive * Intimacy Problems * Over involved fixer * Abuse Victim * Lack of coping skills * Confused Identity * Depression avoider via Activity * Judgemental Perfectionism * No trust * Loss of your own Reality * Inveterate Dreamer * Spiritual Bankruptcy – lacking non-religious faith of any kind * Equifinality

EQUIFINALITY ?  – No matter where you begin, you end up in the same place.

Functional they may be but mobile phones are the current tool to practice lack of boundaries. In a dysfunctional family respect is vague, faded and obscured. In a train carriage or a restaurant table boundaries are broken left right and centre, becoming a curse of modern life that we bare because we think we can’t live without them. We put up with it in much the same way we put up with family dysfunction. We become exhausted with asking, people not listening, not respecting etc that we numb out ( see list above ). When a child is abused in the home the body remembers.

Every time you feel shock, you hold your breath. Next time you have sex check whether your breath is held. Every family memory you carry into adulthood including verbal abuse, put downs . . reside within, gasping for air.

These are just a few examples of lack of boundaries. Today’s task is to consider your own.

To help you do this flick through these links until you find something that resonates.
Then use it as a starting board to write down where dysfunctional boundaries have occurred in your life, they may be your own, your co-workers friends or family. Once you realize where a boundary has been crossed, take steps to correct this. Therapy is an advantage in learning to do this but often a simple explanation to someone, eyeball to eyeball, with a balanced tone to the voice can correct an action seldom to repeat.

Take all of me . . .

People seem to have got it into their heads that it’s a divine right to find a soulmate or lifetime partner, often feeling cheated by the world if they don’t turn up. Not so many decades ago a woman ” left on the shelf ” was a visible sin. A man who hadn’t married was deemed sad, gay or both. A son or daughter who stayed home looking after a parent was seen giving up the chance for love – for duty, and thus praised.

This romantic vision of being snatched by love, held tightly hostage is fueled by books, movies and musical lyrics. This illusion of wholeness is as rancid as old butter. Anne Wilson Schaef, the most progressive exponent of relationship recovery in the ’80s & ’90s said ” The realization of the extent of our relationship addictions, both individually and as a society, is shocking. However, there is no need to get depressed, because we can do something about it.” This following quote from her book When Society Becomes an Addict : Understanding The Social System, Reclaiming Our Personal Power – is food for recovering serial relationship addicts. You know who they are.

”    Dependent relationships are the norm within the addictive system of society. Addicts of any kind are invariably dependent or counter-dependent. Counter-dependency has been described in psychological circles as a reaction against extreme dependency. Counter-dependent people feel so dependent on others that they must convince them ( and the self ) that they do not need anyone at all and, hence, act so as to say : I don’t need anybody “. An addict , to recover, must recognize the need to rely on oneself and take care of oneself. Recovery is the realization that one has the ability to do this AND the ability to stay close to others without being dependent.This realization contradicts everything we are taught. From an early age we are told that dependency is the road to intimacy, and that two people cannot get close to each other unless they become mutually dependent. Two people are deemed intimate when they have reached the stage at which neither can function without each other. We call this the perfect union, the perfect marriage.

What I have observed, however, is that dependency DESTROYS intimacy.

The person being depended upon feels sucked dry, and the person doing the depending comes to resent the other. The relationship that once made both of them feel important and needed and secure eventually leaves them drained and exhausted. Over time they may even come to hate each other. In other words, the mechanism does not work the way we are taught it will work. “

What struck me re-reading these words from my bookshelf is that we have only just recognised that our banking and financial system no longer works. We have allowed our lives to be run by addicts in suits and we are paying the price. How long will it take for society to realise that old relationship demands no longer work either. Do you wish for a dream of lifetime hostage or prefer to be set free to explore interdependent relationships where two people exchange intimacies while setting each other free,to experience wholeness and authenticity not entrapment and dependency?

Whole interdependent relationships are possible but you need to address the issues that hold you back from receiving TRUE LOVE, the love for self and another human being without conditions – including staying. Unconditional love means nothing less.

Discuss at leisure.