Queer ‘Two Spirit’ Shamans

Part of my ‘Spiritual Journey’ has been dealing with the word SHAMAN in application to myself. In 2004 I was asked to speak at a weekend conference on BREATHWORK in Milan Italy. I did my slot on Gay Relationships ( the term queer not used then ), in fact I had great problems using the term GAY to a heterosexual Italian crowd, they preferred ‘homosexual’ still believing it was a mental illness – but must push on . . . 

The next speaker, topping the bill, was a spanish woman, who I had met at other conferences, seen as quite unbalanced by this conservative crowd, suddenly asking ME without discussion, fuming at my reception, to assist in her Shamanic feather waving ceremony. I was commanded to hold the feathers!

I was a bit shocked and frankly embarrassed, but then she proceeded to totally demolish listeners by stating ( out of the blue ) I WAS A SHAMAN, an URBAN QUEER SHAMEN, someone who had healed himself from addictions and long held chronic disease. THAT SHUT THEM UP. 

It has taken me 20 years to accept it finally, that my somatic breathwork work is SHAMANIC. It’s a recent conclusion so I’m putting it out there as fact, as I am late to the party with over 35 years experience in assisting others to heal themselves. I am now over 42 years clean & sober too, and a phrase I picked up over the years in recovery rooms is ” you can’t give away what you haven’t got!”. EXPERIENCE is GOLD – with or without feathers.

A “Queer Two Spirit Shaman” refers to a Native American individual who embodies both masculine and feminine spiritual qualities, often taking on a role as a healer or spiritual leader within their community, and whose gender identity falls outside of the Western binary, historically described using the term “berdache” by Europeans, now considered outdated and often offensive; “Two Spirit” is the preferred term used by Indigenous people to describe this identity. 

Key points about this term:

  • “Two Spirit”:This is the contemporary, respectful term used by Indigenous people to describe individuals who embody both masculine and feminine spirits, often associated with special spiritual roles like shamanism. 
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  • “Berdache”:This term, originating from French, was used by European anthropologists to describe Native American people who did not conform to Western gender norms, but is now considered derogatory and should be avoided. 
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  • Shamanistic role:Historically, Two Spirit individuals often held significant spiritual positions within their tribes, acting as healers, visionaries, and ceremonial leaders. 
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  • Queer identity:“Queer” in this context encompasses the non-heteronormative aspects of a Two Spirit person’s gender identity and sexual orientation. 

Having said all that – Coaching, Life Audit and ‘Conscious Connected’  Rebirthing Breathwork that I provide – does NOT include feathers, ceremonies, ‘shrooms, ayahuasca, cacao or any mood altering substance. 

As alternative, Somatic Shamanic Breathwork I practice gets you high, ( like coming up on E – I keep hearing ) spiritually connected with safe emotional release of anxiety, depressions and blocked potentials. No Drumwork or talking sticks either. Specialised Practitioners do that so much better than me.

ONLINE LifeCoaching

‘Life is difficult’ is the first sentence of M. Scott Pecks groundbreaking book The Road Less Travelled, a path to personal development and spiritual growth, published in 1978, the time the world was wearing platforms – way before the digital platform world we now live in. 

Like walking in platforms it’s easy to stumble.

Many would say that life is even MORE difficult NOW with information overload, increased mental health issues, normalised addictive behaviours, job uncertainties, debt mountains & staggering cost of living et al. No wonder we feel the need to escape. But living blindfolded, only aids depression & living in the problem – not living in solutions. Talking about it is the first step.

This is where online coaching can be useful in picking yourself up. Not by being rescued but by being taught to rescue yourself. 

I have been successful over 40 years dealing with my own stuff, addictions, sexuality, alcoholism, chronic illnesses, toxic relationships, codependency, homelessness, bankruptcy and low esteems. All in the 1970’s. I threw the platforms away as well.

All of which are in my past, with found solutions, but I pass on these experiences to others, when needed, to encourage constant solutions in today’s tough times. 

I have remained clean & sober since 1982 and trained in 1988 with a 3 Year Training with global ‘The Loving Relationship Training ( LRT )’ and  also offer F2F Rebirthing ‘Conscious Connected Breathwork’ in Zone 1 London for stress and hoarded emotional release. See pages on this site and academic papers on blogs for more details.

Check also my Contact page for a Free Online Introduction with no obligation to continue with anything. I can explain the process, hear your story and see if both of us are suitable to interact further.

Or I can direct you to other avenues that may be more suitable for your needs.

If you decide to continue with regular online coaching, 30, 60 or 90 min sessions are available, times to suit including day, evening & weekends on global timezones.

Living in Central London DAVID PARKER  has over 35 years experience as a Somatic Breathworker, Relationship Coach & Trainer, leading Breathwork, Codependency & Addiction Recovery Residential’s, Seminars and Workshops in all 5 Continents in countries including Australia, Venezuela, Morocco, Canada, Sweden, Italy, Greece, Austria, Estonia, Spain and Goa in India as well as the UK.

If you are interested in a FREE session, to find out more, with no obligation to continue – please send Introductory email to rebirthyourlife@gmail.com detailing who you are, background, needs and whether you are new to Breathwork. This really helps. Your journey begins at this point of discovery.

Refreshed Recovery with a Recovery Coach

October 26th 1982 was my first day free from active addiction – I’ve been clean & sober ever since. It’s not been an easy road, but it has been essential to walk it, facing life head on without the usual escape routes.

As recommended, I worked with a 12 Step sponsor and after 3 years she moved away from London to start a new career, and we had no digital platforms of communication back then – unlike now. 

So I found another. Sadly he fell to the HIV virus eventually like many, died of AIDS. Such a loss for all. So many fell soon after – until combination therapies arrived in 1996. Another sponsor relapsed. One fatally overdosed. It’s the nature of the beast we seek to release.

In mid or long term recovery, few are doing 5 meetings a week as when we came in, we develop into other rhythms. 

Eventually I floated about seeking outside help, as for the first 15 years of Recovery I was living with cirrhosis of the liver and chronic active Hepatitis B Virus trying any crazy alternative therapies to stay alive.  Recovering from secondary conditions has always been my label.

I was not offered synthetic interferon treatment in the late 80’s because I was one of 10 patients on the original Human Interferon Drug trial at The Royal Free Hospital in London in 1982. Everyone died on that trial except me, so I was heavily monitored up to millennium year 2000. Miracles do happen.

I finally released the Hep B virus in 1996 using ‘Conscious Connected’ Rebirthing Breathwork, without the use of medication, but that’s another story, contact me to hear how I did it.

Recovery coaching is often viewed for newcomers to the recovery process but in my experience, it’s 10, 15, 20 years and beyond in fellowships that recovering people can wander in the wilderness.

Finding a sponsor is difficult if you hold a chunk of years up. You may have tried it yourself without success. Sometimes you just need short term focus on getting ‘back to basics’, back to the rooms or reconnection with primary purpose. This is where a Recovery Coach can step in. To bridge the gap in times of need. It’s not long term or regular sponsorship. 

Working with a Recovery Coach on Codependency issues, relapse thinking and awareness of developing other addictions can be ‘short term sessions’, depending on client needs.

When requested I have taken clients through 4th & 5th Steps in mid recovery, for example, using differing workbooks in a chosen fellowship, as some Anonymous Programmes have limited sponsorship opportunities.

I always encourage clients to also find a sponsor as back up. I do not replace one, only assist those stuck, procrastinating or desire guided spiritual direction.

Trained in 1988 I also offer Rebirthing ‘Conscious Connected Breathwork’ for stress and hoarded emotional release. See pages on this site and academic papers on blogs for more details. Check also my Contact page for a Free Online Introduction with no obligation to continue with anything. 

I don’t generally use 12 Steps in my Coaching work, unless requested as Recovery Coach. I also have a full sponsee list, an Al-Anon sponsor and have a service commitment at my NA home group.

Living in Central London DAVID PARKER  has over 35 years experience as a Somatic Breathworker, Relationship Coach & Trainer, leading Breathwork, Codependency & Addiction Recovery Residential’s, Seminars and Workshops in all 5 Continents in countries including Australia, Venezuela, Morocco, Canada, Sweden, Italy, Greece, Austria, Estonia, Spain and Goa in India as well as the UK.

If you are interested in a FREE session, to find out more, with no obligation to continue – please send Introductory email to rebirthyourlife@gmail.com detailing who you are, background, needs and whether you are new to Breathwork. This really helps. Your journey begins at this point of discovery.

POST-PANDEMIC REhab

Rebirth Your Life. Prepare yourself for end of Lockdown. NOW.  

A Bespoke Programme designed for you. ONLINE and F2F. Central London.

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MORE INFO Coming Soon!

 

 

Tales of the Unexpected

Tales of the Unexpected was a UK 1970’s telly series that was a mustn’t miss weekly event. It told a different story every week and each episode was introduced by Roald Dahl himself sitting in a comfy armchair. Dahl wrote Charlie and The Chocolate Factory, Matilda and other classic children’s books, but also became a master of short stories for adults, most were very dark and had a twist in the tail. And that’s precisely what this series was based on – the UNEXPECTED. 

And so is LIFE.

In mid July I had a few blips going on with my heart, low heart rate mainly, called Bradycardia which needed A&E attention. A need for a pacemaker was discussed but not carried through as more tests were required over a period of time. A week away from August I collapsed at home and ambulanced into a truly unexpected dilemma that was certainly not part of my plan.

I was due to be in Athens early August for starters on a 10 day break. I didn’t make it. Nor the Athens 10 day trip in October. The Universe had other plans.

After a few days of observations, scans, X-rays and the like I was whisked off to Barts Heart Centre in Central/East London for a more detailed angiogram examination where I was told I needed triple heart bypass surgery within 48 hours to avoid heart attack. Thus began almost 3 months of complications, starting with another heart operation 2 weeks after the first. The whole scenario became a lesson in powerlessness, vulnerability, trust and avoidance of projection, keeping it all in the day, hour, minutes. I am only just coming out of it, knowing it will take a while to recover fully and start a 3 month Cardio Rehabilitation Programme next week. Game ON.

Meanwhile in November I will be gradually getting back to clients and small groups which is manageable carefully paced, doctors suggest going back to work or other practices after 3 months, so here I am with clients already on hold booking in. Group dates for Nov, Dec & Jan will be up in a few days.

BESPOKE COACHING & BREATHWORK assists dealing with the unexpected. Coaching can unravel what to do next in emotional circumstances – loss of a job, a sudden health diagnosis, relationship difficulties or compulsive habits of escape – food, booze, recreational drugs or sex addiction. 

SOMATIC EVOLUTIONARY BREATHWORK EXPERIENCE : I have practiced and taught for over 30 years assisting those with trapped emotional trauma, shallow breathing, anxiety, depression and anyone stuck in a rut. Breathwork unblocks thoughts, habits and realities freeing up the body and mind to experience less worry and more joyful conscious living. You deserve it.

So do check out blogs and pages on this site for solutions, and how you can switch from panic REACT to healthily RESPOND to unexpected scenarios, learn how to handle life’s twists and turns more ably. Oh and have regular BP and Heart checks. You never know. 

Recovery Coaching for People Who Do Too Much

We all know them.

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Workaholics. Alcohol Dependents. Coke fiends. Chem users. Painkillers. Exercise Addicts. Codependents. People Pleasers. Compulsive Helpers. Gamblers. Debtors Etc.

Maybe you are one of them, getting nowhere fast, riding through treacle in avoidance of the core issue.

Living Life In Balance is an acquired art, requiring practice, discipline and observation – difficult to do alone – which is why working with an experienced Recovery Coach & Evolutionary Breathworker WORKS.

I have been clean & sober since 1982 with 12 Step Programmes and a Somatic Breathworker since 1988, so I know that it’s possible to RE-BALANCE YOUR LIFE, take hold, redress with ‘purposeful using’ if dependent or abstention if needed. Step work has been my solution plus outside help, but sessions are not guided by it or required to use in or out of session, nor is there requirement to develop the spiritual side. The client leads the session in their requirements.

SOLUTIONS : First focus on present current issues and what ACTION needs to take place.

Second, deal with emotional suppression, overwhelm and helplessness which can lead to or enhance depression and more walking into escape routes that damage, continue and bring you back to a spiral of much of the same. I have been there, so no judgement involved, just practical solutions for change.

_DSF6211-Edit-Edit-EditAnother SOLUTION is calling me. David Parker on 07483 287470

Leave a voicemail if I don’t pick up, or email me with what your problem is. rebirthyourlife@gmail.com 

I see anyone FREE for 2 hours with no obligation to carry anything further with me or can direct you to other avenues of solution. Someone did this for me 36 years ago – I’m just giving it back. Euston venue.

or buy the book above. It’s a start.

Ted Roger’s confirms the value of Breathwork for mental health issues.

 

10570275_10152898518950149_332370818695223401_nI’m Ted, 23 years old, and I first discovered ‘New Style’ Rebirthing Breathwork through David Parker, ( here on the right of this pic ) a Breathworker with 30 years experience, after he suggested I try breath work and I trust his sound judgement so I decided to come to an individual 3 hour session and give it a go.

But from someone who has been diagnosed bi-polar (rapid-cycling) for 7 years and suffered many ins and outs of depression, medication, therapists and institutions, at first I was sceptical and I also find communicating with people and systems somewhat of a task due to my Aspergers (High-Functioning) syndrome, diagnosed in my teenage years. I was not convinced that breathing would really have that much of an impact on me. I had done meditation and Bikram yoga which both centre heavily around breathing and mostly the outcomes of these activities had been a headache or general exhaustion.

Most importantly I have found Rebirthing breath work to be the most effective form of therapy in helping me through tough patches of depression. And if we consider that I have been through many a psychiatric professional, various institutions and 13 different medications over 6 years I think you can agree that this is somewhat of a profound discovery.

What Breathwork does is it gets you past your intellectual barriers and complicated head based reasoning and puts you into your body. It reaches deep into your soul and gives it a good massage and a shake. What this allows you to do is become unstuck. One of my biggest difficulties with depression is getting stuck. Either in a hole or a loop or a sticky pool of mud. Regardless of the work I have done the day before I wake up the next day in the same pool of shit I started in the day before. This winter I experienced this cycle for an excruciating 4 months and I am still not entirely free of it. However, when I have attend a breath work session it has always shifted something. I can’t always put my finger on what but I can feel that within me something has moved. This in turn has helped to remove me partially if not entirely out of my loop/whole/pool of mud in the space of a few hours.

This is incredible!

Never before could anything get me out of these ruts. Only recreational drugs or extreme life situations ever had any effect; and these two options come with negative longterm consequences whereas breath work does not. Price wise it is even reasonable. Especially compared to other alternative therapies and private medical care. For me I have found accessing therapies through the NHS extremely traumatic and the end result was that I was left on drugs without monitoring or any sort of talking/holistic therapies. Rebirthing breath work has begun a process in me. And I will continue to use it as therapeutic tool for as long as it serves me. I have huge gratitude for David and the assistants who help him in URBAN LIFECLASS group sessions, for showing me breath work and allowing me some release and progress from depression. This is how Breathwork makes me feel : Refreshed, ALIVE, Energised and FREE . . .

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by Ted Rogers : Dancer/Performer/Writer/Artist/ Blogger/Poet/Model/Stylist

 

 

Expert Witness

Workshops are full of people who think they are experts, they think they know what’s best for us when they often hardly know what’s best for themselves. Such is life, and we eventually forgive those steeped in codependent armour, as well as ourselves for not speaking up while spoken too. I think that the only expert that works longterm is our OWN experience, and since we are often dismissive of ourselves, we dismiss the value of our input. When we witness honesty and emotion from deep sharing of others it can provoke vibrative memory of buried treasure, and help us to dig further within our psyche in order to achieve forgiveness. This is the real energy behind workshops and seminar probing.

Robin Norwood who wrote Women Who Love Too Much, set herself up as expert and ten years after forgave herself by writing WHY ME, WHY THIS, WHY NOW – A Guide to Answering Life’s Toughest Questions, when her life car crashed. She experienced true humility by going public and sharing this experience of falling off ivory towers. Within my 20 year journey of leading workshops I have heard amazing truths revealed, including incest, which plugs in the whole training.

She writes the following about an abuser.

” To truly forgive requires that we truly understand. We must be able to look clearly at the whole picture, recoil from none of it, deny none of it, accept it all. In a way this means that we must become EXPERTS regarding which that we must forgive, seeing all sides, not just our own.

An example : I was in a workshop on the treatment of incest many years ago when, halfway through the morning, one of the participants identified himself as an aggressor who had sexually abused his daughter. For a long moment there was a stunned silence. Then he went on to describe his incarceration, the therapy he and his family had received, and his recovery of many years duration.

He now counseled male offenders incarcerated for the same offences he had committed. With his wife and daughter, he participated in group discussions for the families of these men. His honesty created an environment that allowed other workshop participants to talk about their own experiences with sexual abuse.

Because he modeled courage and dignity and humility as well as honesty, he made it easier for some of the therapists in the room who were also incest victims to gain more understanding of the person who had violated them. We stopped interacting as professionals and became EXPERTS instead, drawing on our EXPERIENCE as we struggled to understand this human problem. Such understanding, when achieved, leads eventually to forgiveness – and forgiveness is the final step in our healing.

Through forgiveness we are forgiven. “

In sharing our deepest shames we dissolve the pain of holding on. I have attracted many women and men over two decades who are adult survivors of child abuse and used Rebirthing Breathwork to gently bring them back to feelings without overwhelm, recovery without self loathing, hope without silence. In 1992 my brother went to prison for pleading guilty to abusing his step daughter for 5 years. I had to forgive him, but closed the door on future contact as he was not ready to take responsibility for his actions. I left a contact number but no call has been dialed. Not my stuff.

I sometimes wonder where he is, whether his alcoholism rebirthed his life or whether amends have been made. Sometimes we don’t need to know.