The Elephant In the Room

It’s easy to think that we need to ” go away ” in order to find ourselves, to sort ourselves out, to find solace. This kind of thinking has kept the Holistic Spa industry going for years. Glossy pics on internet travel sites are one click away from serenity, such is the lure for escape and instant gratification when exhaustion strikes. These commercial dealers offering hot stones, soft white towels and silence by the pool are as enticing for work addicts as a dealer is for junkies and we fall for it every time.

The problem is not where we are running ” to” but what we are running ” from ” but when the going gets tough the quick fix trip hits the vein of relief.

Treatment Centres call this ” doing a geographical “. In fairness it usually applies to people who winge about where they are now, and up-sticks for a new start elsewhere, taking themselves and their problems with them.

Drunks, as example, are very good at this, not that they have ” a problem ” of course – they just ” enjoy ” a drink and everyone’s on their back. They just chose the wrong job, wrong partner or wrong flatmate so you can understand why taking a massive leap of anger somewhere is so thrilling after all that victimhood. Been there – done it myself – until the blame game had to stop. For people who use alcohol or substances moderately this may not make sense but replace alcohol with WORK and you get the gist. More people are addicted to a work identity than drunks to alcohol. It becomes who they are.

Getting away from work pressure is easy when you know how, but you may not know that YOU could be the elephant in the room, the problem no one talks about to your face. Our own defects of character pale into comparison with everyone else’s but until we check out OUR emotional obstacles we shall forever remain the bitch in Accounts, the boss that doesn’t listen and the loner at lunch. Like a man in a bad wig it’s unlikely anyone will tell you.

It is so very wrong to consider therapy in a CRISIS – you don’t rush to the gym in a crisis, you have a routine for it and so it is with life management. Finding time out for self repair is essential in this fast moving internet age. When no-one wants to socialise with you after work it’s either because you are still at work and can’t leave or your workaholicism is breeding more personality defects, the ones all can see except the culprit. The problem may be that you ” enjoy ” work too much. Fear is a great leveller when it comes to job loss projection, even more so now in world recession, so all the more reason to ” get away ” to a space of strength, to recover lost positivity and end fearful projections. Office life is like a zoo and elephants abound. Don’t bring domestic issues into the workplace, don’t tell anyone about your salary rise, don’t take too long for lunch and don’t  . .

Rules and secrets abound so the urge to OM in India, to be draped in toweled robes after a mud bath is soothingly attractive after a shit week but a crap day can be turned around in 10 minutes if you seek it. TRY THIS.

Working too hard?  Go for a walk. Call a friend. Find a Park. Find a bench. Look up at the sky. Find trees. You don’t need to go far. Buy a bag of chips. Walk toward water. Sit with eyes closed and breathe deeply. This easy stuff gets buried in the mayhem.

Or go to the Zoo, find the Elephant House and ponder on what’s off-track.

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