A Year Off.

imagesSince 2002 I have been travelling somewhere abroad every 2 months and during 2011/12 every month, so I decided in May 2012, hitting 65, that I would take time out for review and I am still in it, coasting toward March 2013. One thing I have learnt is that the universe knows best, or as Marianne Williamson wrote in A RETURN TO LOVE : “God’s plan works – yours doesn’t.

In June last year I started twice weekly BOXERCISE with a Home Personal Trainer to get back some stamina then in August was told I had first stage skin cancer and went on twice daily chemo for 3 weeks. Deeply unpleasant ( but successful ), and handy that I was already in an exercise pattern. Yes, some patterns ARE useful. But more importantly it verified my first paragraph above.

So having cancelled all the planned seminars for 2013, I just waited, rested and waited. 

I just posted a blog on one of my other sites, which is rather apt for here to keep you in the loop . . . AND I’m having a wonderful break, off to Marrakech next week, my spiritual home. Still waiting, still resting.


Hopefully I’m back with a rhythm. It’s been an interesting calming four months deciding what to do next, when the ego insists you MUST be doing something instead of watching ‘Flog it’ in the afternoon.

flogit_home_203x152I thoroughly enjoy ‘Flog it’ especially when they ask ” what are you going to do with the money? “. The money is usually about 80 quid and they put it toward a cruise or a trip to Australia. I can’t wait for someone to say ” it’s paying my electricity bill because of this bastard government and their free-market chums “. Years ago, during the last recession in the late 80’s ( under the Tories I might add ) I was wandering in Watkins, London’s oldest esoteric bookshop in Cecil Court, off Charing Cross Road where I found a little booklet called ‘Life was never meant to be a struggle’ by Stuart Wilde.

It changed my life. Literally. From that point on I refused to struggle and pointed this out to the assistants at Watkins on many future visits, so much so that they amended my mailing list address to ‘I don’t do Struggle’ followed by my name. Later on while researching codependency in the 90’s I came up with another mantra that will solve anyones life crisis and move on. It was FEEL IT, CLAIM IT,>DUMP IT. This too is still used today on my address when they send out recent booklists.

KGrHqZioE-qoIQmBfBP7hjlmQ_32-300x243Serenity in recovery often means giving up the struggle in order to WIN. When you register that struggle serves no purpose, it can dissolve as quickly as it arrived. Scarcity or not enough in any form, is linked to the concept of struggle but handing over struggle, or the requirement to create it, to higher vibrations is not all the work you need to do, physically removing yourself from struggle is the real solution. Many of us have learnt to struggle through experience, in fact we are very successful at it. By definition it’s impossible to say you have failed. Rather like people who say they have no discipline yet have been disciplined with struggle all their lives. Switch words around. Letting go of people, places and things is like clearing a cupboard that is rammed full with rubbish you think you need. You don’t. So get clearing.

My own struggle with a physical chronic illness during the eighties came to an end when I attended a ‘Benefits of Illness’ workshop. Instead of struggling with a dominating physical partner ( as in a relationship ) I was struggling with a dominating virus in the same codependent way. It controlled my life. Once I realised that I had a choice whether to accept struggle as a pain, the pain of struggle left. When people asked me how my health was, I would respond ‘ I am more than my health identity’. This assisted me is seeing that codependency, the attachment of struggle, was at it’s end. Stuart Wilde’s little pamphlet affirmed that ” If it’s easy for me, it’s right for me’ and I have to admit that I have followed this path ever since. As Marianne Williamson said ” when people say you are so lucky, just remind them it’s because you practiced “. Letting go of struggle is not a given, it’s practice. The last 4 months doing very little has been a doddle. Just being, waiting but not wanting. It’s been a breeze.

Check out the link below, start practicing, and start to chuck out the chintz today.


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