Chaotic living comes from chaotic mindsets, so unravelling your mind is a good place to start on the road to balanced thinking. People with addictive personalities do like to cram it in. When they go bang at it, something has to give, and it’s usually a balanced mind. In order to correct chaos living you first need to own it, and just because people who surround you are doing it too, does not mean that you will manage it as well as others. It all depends on your awareness and game-plan.
Chaos Living is an ability, and a desire not to confront – which in time becomes a disability.
Coupled with PROCRASTINATION, serial escape tactics and a hard drive for approval – the destination is likely to be RESCUE ME! . . . and a codependent ambulance friend is always at hand to hear your woes. They love hearing that record. They need you. They enable you. A true friend rarely enables you to continue an abuse pattern.
Not confronting anger, rejection and betrayal in relationships is just a starter for denial. Not confronting credit card debt, overdrafts and cashpoint withdrawl is the seed for future financial pain. It is also sad to witness relationships that should have ended long ago but remain held together by debt, one staying just to get money back loaned in the heady daze of romantic capture. It happens. Saying NO to partners, family or friends is difficult ( they may not like me ), as the word YES goes on automatic pilot, when you really meant NO.
John Bradshaw called the core of codependency ” toxic shame “ and codependency is the core of all addictions. Chaos living is always about shame. If your life is chaotic use the Highway code – Stop, Look & Listen. STOP thinking you can sort it alone, LOOK at why you have created this and LISTEN to your emotions other than fear, crisis & panic that keeps you in your body. You may need to do a bit of searching but peace, harmony and plenty of time for eveything is in there somewhere.
Chaos living is an empty drawer of underwear or emails not deleted. I suggest you take one night off a week to simply potter around doing all the things you meant to do. Confront it.
The reason that many take facebook suicide is that they can’t cope with a constant mammoth INBOX pile of unread, unwanted invites so my tip is to confront the back log each day for a short time until you see the light. DELETE, Delete, delete. Do the same with your phone and all your email addys. An untidy inbox is like a drawer with no pants in except the pair you never wear. You meant to do the laundry but somehow . . .
I know it’s tedius but having food in the fridge helps. Get into the habit of stocking up instead of staring at dried pasta and a tin of tomatoes. Getting ahead is essential to enjoy saner leisure weekends because the party of reward is lighter than the party of guilt.
So this weeks healing task is to check your weekend, check your phone is charged, check the fridge and check your state of mind. Then check your Bank & CC statements. Confront the worst, the feeling will surprise you. Then prepare to party on. ABUNDANCE comes in many forms, like BREATHING. Remember to BREATHE.